20 Years Old and Alone in Australia

20 years old and alone in Australia. This was how I began my 2019.

It was January 2nd, 2019 and pretty much all I remember from this day are an embarrassing amount of tears and anxiety. I have this weird, low-key attachment issue to my family, especially my mom. And when I boarded that plane from New York to Sydney, Australia I was leaving my family for 5 months. That’s the longest time I’ve ever been apart from them.

Not only was I apart from them for 5 months, but also my friends, my house, my dog, my favorite restaurants, my go-to mall and the literal United States of America. To make matters worse, all of the people that told me they’d go abroad to Australia with me had bailed, one-by-one throughout the course of Fall semester, which left me alone in this new, far away country with only one familiar face (who I’ll get to later).

Now don’t get me wrong. I am a PRO at being alone. I’ve been doing things alone since I was 9 years old at an all-girls sleep-away camp in upstate New York. I spent 2 months, every summer, from the ages 9-15 at this camp. When I first got there, all I knew were my older cousins who did not want anything to do with awkward, lengthy, glasses-wearing me. So I was alone. I was thrown onto a 3.5-hour bus ride and placed into Bunk 10 with these girls that I had never met before. By the end of the summer, I had made some of the best friends of my life (who are still around today).

It wasn’t long until I was traveling with people I had never met before. Whether it be domestically to Hawaii and Alaska or abroad to London or Canada. So it wasn’t much of a surprise to anyone when I decided to go to the University of South Carolina, which was a flight away from home and a place where I knew nobody.

This leads me to Australia. I was boarded onto a 24-hour plane flight, thrown into a dorm with 7 other girls who all seemed to know each other, and 9,928 miles from anything that ever seemed familiar to me… for 5 months.

Now, I did know one person in Sydney. One of my closest high school friends, Jenna, was also studying there. We were so excited to be abroad in the same city. During the months leading up to our departure, we made so many freakin’ lists about travel plans, restaurants we wanted to try, and cool things to do and see in Sydney. We flew from LA to Sydney together, but the moment we reached the Sydney airport, we were separated; living in different housing, on different programs, at different schools and realistically pretty far from each other. It’s sad to say that we did not complete the activities on the massive list we complied. Well that’s not true… we both completed the activities, just not with each other.

Making friends actually happened pretty quickly. We all lived in the same suite, so we were constantly together. And, to be honest, I don’t even remember how we became a friend group. I’m pretty sure I just showed them my bucket list of things to do in Australia and they were just… down. And it was that simple. There was no turning point or rising action or tragic downward spiral with them. I think that’s how I knew that these were my people. Down for adventure, here to see, explore, live, bored with college. We had the same values and we were here for the same reasons. Shoutout Meg, Jordan and Shy- I have no idea how I’ve lived 20 years without y’all.

I call myself an outgoing person, but the truth is (and also according to the Myers Briggs test), I am an introvert. I love my alone time. So, can I small talk my way into any conversation? Yes. Does it still make me nervous every time? Absolutely.

So here’s my advice to you, whoever is reading this. If you’re headed somewhere alone and you’re scared and anxious, that is okay. But like my mom told me when I was headed to sleep-away camp for the first time when I was 9 or when I was headed alone to London when I was 17 and even still when I was headed to Australia when I was 20, “Everybody is in the same boat”. Everyone around you, no matter how confident they may seem, is nervous and wants to make friends. Fake it till you make it, ladies. Every time I fake my outgoing-ness and every time it works. Show your sense of humor, be a good listener (and a good talker), find things in common, ask questions.

You’ll find your people no matter how alone you were when you started.