How To Find Yourself In Your 20's

When I was around 14, my friends would describe me as “artsy”. I was always redecorating my room, playing around with a new camera, drawing pieces for my bedroom walls, and writing songs. People who were my acquaintances even knew that I was in the after-school art club and went on all the photography field trips.

Later on, when I arrived at college and began my Film major, I discovered that there’s more to it than being “artsy”. I used to be the kid that was good at this stuff, but in a classroom full of people who had more experience than me, I hardly stood out. I dropped my major.

This was okay because I still had music. I brought my ukulele to college freshman year, and I played sometimes, but mostly when no one was home. Then sophomore year when I was moving in with girls I didn’t know that well, I left my ukulele at home because I didn’t want to show my songwriting to new people. With that, I had dropped all my favorite hobbies and creative endeavours.

But that’s ok because our 20’s are supposed to be the years in which we find ourselves.

This is bullshit. We already know who we are.

Our 20’s are just the first time that we have to actively make an effort to maintain our likes and dislikes and personality traits that we’ve already discovered. Time used to be a luxury that allowed us to explore whatever interests we had and immerse ourselves in them for however long we pleased. Now, we barely have time to brush our hair in the morning, let alone spend hours doing anything if it’s just for the fun of it. If it’s not for a grade or a price, it’s not happening.

I’ve spent weeks on this article trying to figure out what the point of it is. I could hold off posting this until I’ve come up with some epic meaning to all my rambling, but maybe that’s not the purpose of this one. Maybe the purpose is just to shed light on a feeling that I bet many of you have also felt at least once.

We’re going to find and lose hobbies and interests throughout our whole life. Sometimes that’s going to make us feel pretty shitty. Sometimes it’ll seem like we’ll never have time to be the person we want to be when we’re not studying for tests or going out with friends. I don’t have an answer for how to fix this because I’m still figuring it out myself. All I can say right now is: this is exactly what our 20’s are for, and if you think you’re the only one feeling any type of way, you’re so wrong.