What Not To Do On Thanksgiving

Happy freaking Thanksgiving!!! I have literally no clue how we got here, but I’m overjoyed because Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I mean, a whole day centered around food? Sign me right up.

Big holidays are always something to look forward to, but they can also cause a lot of stress... which we absolutely do not need right before we go back to college for finals. Here’s everything you should avoid doing in order to have a perfect Thanksgiving:

Don’t Nurse Your Hangover All Day

There’s a lot of hype surrounding Thanksgiving Eve or Blackout Wednesday or whatever you call going out the night before Thanksgiving. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have yourself a time, but Thanksgiving is not the day to lay in bed for hours with the spins. Your mom is slaving away in the kitchen; just get up and grab some turkey to cure your hangover so you can enjoy the rest of the day.

Don’t Expect To Recognize Anyone In The Parade

For a TV event that gains huge coverage, the performers in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade are pretty damn irrelevant. I just looked up the lineup for this year and the Black Eyed Peas and Natasha Beddingfield are performing. I’m sorry, is this 2005? I swear the singers in the parade used to be good. Someone lmk.

Don’t Stick To Your Diet

First of all, diets don’t last. Second of all, it’s Thanksgiving. Hello? Why are you skipping out on the mashed potatoes. I cannot take anyone seriously who says they’re going to “be good” this holiday season. Stop that right now. You can count your calories later but this is just not the time.

Don’t Dress Up For Dinner

I’m all for dressing just to get an Insta, but I’m begging you to take your Gucci belt off before you dig in. This is probably the worst mistake you could make today. Tight pants and three plates of turkey do not go together. Also, how are you going to lay on grandma’s couch with agonizing stomach pains at the end of the night if you’re wearing high waisted jeans? That’s all I’m saying.

Don’t Go To The Mall At Midnight

OK, maybe go to the mall at midnight if you’ve never done it before. After the first time, though, it’s so not worth it. Maybe it’s just my local mall, but most of the time the deals aren’t even that good. You’re better off waiting until Cyber Monday when you can shop from the comfort of your bedroom and not impulse buy something because it’s 20% off.

In all seriousness, Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful for what you have. Don’t waste the day making choices that you’ll regret.